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Dancing Dadz Steal the Show
By Lisa Traiger
Cutting the frou-frou gets students' fathers onto the
floor
 Perhaps
it's the abundance of pink,
the overpowering scent of hairspray, or the lingering rustle
of tulle and flash of sequins that make fathers feel out of
sorts in the dance studio environment. They hover, waiting
for a daughter's class to end, eyes not straying from their
BlackBerries�
or laptops, ears glued to their cell phones. The less secure
among them circle the parking lot like blackbirds seeking a
roost. It's the mothers who take advantage of the lobby
sofas to read a novel, peruse a magazine, catch up with
friends, or trade supermarket coupons.
Kathleen Cirioli knows plenty about the differences between
dance moms and dance dads. She's been teaching for more than
35 years and in 1971 founded her Hillsborough, NJ-based
studio, Kathleen Academy of Dance. About an hour outside of
New York City in central New Jersey, KAD serves about 750
families and offers between 90 and 100 classes a week. "We
pretty much have three classrooms going all the time," she
says. Although tap is her strong suit, Cirioli and her staff
teach ballet, jazz, lyrical, hip-hop, kickline, Tiny Tots,
and a variety of adult classes.
Before Cirioli decided to tap into her school's population
of fathers, "periodically we would hear a dad say, 'Oh, I
would like to do that, but I don't want to be the only guy
dancing,' " she says. "A typical male mentality, I would
say." In 1996 she decided to offer a class for dads and
see what happened.
Since then, in some years up to 40 men have reported to
rehearsal for the annual June recital. "They are the hit of
the show," Cirioli says proudly.
Parent Bill Mellott puts it more baldly: "We're a bunch of
injured, out-of-shape old guys. We know we're not dancers.
We're there for the entertainment value. But we have a lot
of fun." The father of Allison, an 18-year-old senior who
has been dancing with Miss Kathleen since she was 3 1/2, Mellott p�re knows that the spotlight and greasepaint aren't
in his future. He teaches elementary school PE and coaches
varsity high school football and track teams in
Hillsborough. His days are long and hectic. But--and this is
the key to why many dads decide to participate over the
years--he says, "I did it because my daughter asked me to and I'll do anything for my kids. So I figured I'd give it a
shot."
Mellott, father of two, was part of Cirioli's very first
class of Dancing Dadz. This year he'll watch his daughter
graduate and expects to hand over his spot in the lineup to
someone else. (His son, Willy, now 16, danced briefly in
elementary school before his interest turned to sports.)
Jim Ziemba, a Hillsborough registered nurse and father of
two, also signed on because of his daughter's urging. This
is his third year with the Dancing Dadz and he loves both
the challenge and the camaraderie of the six-week rehearsal
period.
Cirioli and teacher Joanne Liscovitz figured out early how
to cater to dance dads without overwhelming them. "We know
how difficult [fathers'] schedules are," Cirioli says. "They're not like moms who come all year long to our adult
classes." The dads are recruited in the spring and attend
9:00
p.m.
rehearsals over a six-week period starting in May. The final
recital, with six performances, takes place in June. "It's a
short commitment," Cirioli says, "and I think that's what
has made it very successful."
Most of the dads will agree. With their intense work
schedules and family and community obligations, most of them
could not imagine committing to a year of classes, dance or
otherwise. But six weeks? That's more like it.
Still, Cirioli reports with a smile, those weeks are
intense. Outside of the one-night-a-week rehearsal, some of
the men choose to get together on their own for a boys'
night out. Or they go out for a drink after the two-hour
rehearsal and can't stop themselves from practicing their
steps and formations right there in the bar. Liscovitz
supplies each of them with a CD of the music for their
dance, and many say they play it repeatedly on their car
stereos. She also gives them a cheat sheet with the steps
written out in an effort to avoid too much re-teaching at
the start of each rehearsal.
As the weeks go on a true sense of camaraderie develops. The
men range in age from young fathers in their 20s to those in
their 60s, and in their work lives they are business
professionals, medical personnel, teachers, construction
workers--you name it. But it's dance and their daughters that
bring them together. Each year when they return, before they
start learning their new steps, the old-timers take a few
minutes to catch up on what their daughters have
accomplished in the past year.
The dance numbers that Liscovitz fashions for these
once-a-year dancers are simple and take into account that
some dads might be athletic while others have trouble
knowing their right foot from their left. Sports and
action-movie themes prove popular with both the fathers and
their audiences. One year it was the Beach Boys, with boogie
boards as props; another year, baseball with Yankees
uniforms and a Macarena thrown in. They've also done
two-stepping cowboys and, last year, a basketball number
from
High School Musical,
which proved to be a huge hit with the 14-and-under
daughters.
Mellott liked the year they did a
Men in Black-inspired
number, while Pete Rybaski, whose daughter, Joanne, 31,
returned to KAD after she finished graduate school, favored
the surf number. When Rybaski's daughter was dancing as a
teenager there was no Dancing Dadz group, but he promised
her that if she returned to dancing he would give it a shot
as well. Now 63, Rybaski, who lives in Manville and works at
Johnson & Johnson, might be the oldest of the Dancing Dadz,
but he has no plans to stop. "I'm in shape and I figure I'll
just keep doing it for as long as I can," he says, noting
that his daughter approves.
The six-week intensive rehearsal period is no walk in the
park, but all the men emphasize how much they enjoy it. "At
first it was really hard for me to remember everything," Rybaski admits,
"but I get it eventually, and truthfully we
have a lot of fun. [Our teacher] doesn't give us really hard
steps because we have to learn them--and then we grow into
it."
Ziemba, the registered nurse, is going on his third year
with the Dancing Dadz. His daughter, Mary, 12, started
dancing at 4. And while he spends plenty of time coaching
baseball and basketball for his son, James, 13, he didn't
focus much on Mary's dance life--that is, until she urged him
to join the Dancing Dadz. "I find it a unique way to share
an experience with my daughter," he says. "She plays
softball and basketball and I coach her in those, but they
tend to be my activities that she participates in. But this
is hers. When I'm backstage with her, it's hers and only
hers. It gives me the opportunity to share something special
with her."
Allison Mellott, who takes the school's weekly lyrical
class, loves to watch her dad onstage. "It's really neat to
see him up there," she says. A high school senior, she is in
her last year at the studio. (Cirioli always honors her 30
to 40 graduating seniors and their dancing fathers at the
end of the performance.) While Bill Mellott most likely
won't be back next year, he looks forward to encouraging
fathers with younger daughters to join up.
The men have been impressed by how much effort,
coordination, and intellect it takes to make a good dancer
and a good dance number. Ziemba says, "Going through this
process gives me a better appreciation of what the teachers
are accomplishing with the dancers, meaning my daughter, and
what the dancers are accomplishing by performing their
dance. I find it a challenging activity, sometimes
frustrating, but very rewarding."
How To Start a Dads Group
Kathleen Academy of Dance owner Kathleen Cirioli recommends
limiting expectations. Most men won't make a yearlong
commitment, but six weeks is manageable even for very busy
dads.
Charge a reasonable amount for tuition. Remember, you'll be
spending hours burning CDs, looking for costumes, and
simplifying steps. And the men will be more likely to attend
all the rehearsals if they paid for them.
Pick a rehearsal time that doesn't conflict with sports,
their daughters' dance classes, and homework time. The
Dancing Dadz rehearse at 9:00
p.m.
for two hours one evening a week, which gives them time to
get home from work, eat dinner, and spend time with their
families.
Keep it simple. Cirioli reports having had as many as 40
dads in a performance, so the easier the routine, the
better. "We do a lot of basic jazz steps, lots of large
movements, lots of arm movements, lots of things that look
big from the audience, like lines changing and entrances and
exits," she says.
Pick a theme that men will like. Sports are the top choice,
as are popular movies. Cirioli and her main Dancing Dadz
teacher, Joanne Liscovitz, have done baseball, basketball,
boxing, surfing, and cowboy themes and even
Saturday Night Fever-style
disco with vintage John Travolta moves.
Cirioli recommends using props, because they give the men
something tangible to do in the choreography, and simple,
comfortable costumes. She has put the men in sports
uniforms, blue jeans, black suits, and Hawaiian shirts over
the years.
Relish the spotlight. The KAD Dancing Dadz do. They've been
invited to perform at the town's annual Fourth of July
festivities and have appeared on the local community cable
channel.
Above Caption: The Dancing Dadz added some "Greased
Lightning" to the opening ceremonies for a 2002 Somerset
Patriots baseball game. Photo by Kathleen Cirioli.
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